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Himoon Knowledge Hub

Pillow Princess

Image by Alexander Grey

The term "Pillow Princess" is commonly used to describe women in queer relationships but has recently gained media attention for its application to women engaging in sexual activities with straight men.

In the realm of lesbian sexual orientation, a pillow princess refers to a woman who prefers receiving pleasure and achieving orgasm during sex rather than providing the same for her partner. This term is often used within the LGBTQ+ community, encompassing lesbian and bisexual women. The term can carry both positive and negative connotations, as some individuals, particularly those with dominant preferences, find pleasure in being with pillow princesses.

The Urban Dictionary defines a pillow princess as "a girl in a lesbian relationship who is usually a bottom, liking to receive rather than give." Pillow princesses are known for their submissive role during sex, enjoying receiving oral pleasure and displaying strength in dirty talk. Contrary to misconceptions, being a pillow princess does not necessarily imply laziness in bed; instead, it signifies deriving pleasure from being catered to during sexual encounters.

The term is not exclusive to the LGBTQ+ community, as straight individuals also use it to describe women who enjoy special treatment in bed. It may be applied to those discovering their sexuality or exploring without yet reciprocating with same-sex partners. Men's magazines might use the term when discussing heterosexual women, sometimes synonymously with "starfish" in reference to sexual positions.

The history of the phrase dates back to the 1990s, originating in queer media to describe dynamics in butch-femme relationships. The concept of a "pillow princess" reflects a historical dynamic where the butch initiates and provides sexual pleasure, while the femme plays the role of the "pillow princess" and receives special treatment. The term gained prominence in straight publications over time.

It's important to note that another term, "pillow queen," exists, referring to someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of sex. Pillow queens are adept at deriving pleasure from their partners and are accustomed to being pampered.

Pillow princesses typically identify as women and use she/her pronouns, although some transgender and non-binary individuals may also identify as pillow princesses and use gender-neutral pronouns like they/them. The LGBTQ+ community may use a flag featuring seven color stripes to represent pillow queens/princesses.

To determine if one is a pillow princess, factors such as enjoying receiving pleasure, not liking to give pleasure, preferring a submissive role, and having a preference for silk pillows and comfortable sheets may be considered.

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